"He belongs in a museum!"

So I saw the new Indiana Jones tonight...I can say that I was sufficiently whelmed. I want to say that I was astoundingly impressed but that whole last act sort of put the brakes on any statements about how incredible it was.

I walked into the film expecting to find a that a paunchy old man would spoil all of my childhood memories of Indiana Jones. Having seen the film I'll kind of stand by that statement; that man was George Lucas. The story, devised by Lucas, reminds me why I've hated most of the things he's done in the last decade. Honestly the man doesn't seem to bother with any concept of subtlety anymore. Spielberg's role in the more obnoxious moments seems to come as a result of fan service. Spielberg himself described the film as "the sweet dessert I give those who had to chow down on the bitter herbs that I've used in Munich"(wikipedia you're my only friend). The more saccharine moments come in the form of gophers, monkeys and sweet but slightly uncomfortable dialog that is pretty hit or miss. All I can say is that somewhere between Lucas and Spielberg a lot of bad ideas deemed "too stupid" for earlier drafts of the script seem to have made their way back to the fray.

!!!!!Spoiler!!!!!!-apparently a Frigidaire can save you from nuclear fallout.

To be completely honest with you though, Indy films have never really been about brilliantly crafted plots. At best they're usually a kind of Macguffin in which we get to watch Indy travel the world, kick ass and flesh out relationships with the rest of the cast. As far as ancient mysteries go I'd say the driving story behind the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull veers between interesting and mildly insane a bit too often for my taste. If you've heard spoilers concerning ideas that seem too out there even for an Indiana Jones film, then rest assured, they're all true.

Concerning the cast, I would say the whole film had a real love/hate thing going for me. I personally dig Shia Labeouf and thought he played the role extremely well. It was odd seeing an older Karen Allen that has gone from hot Tomboyish Marion Ravenwood to mother-figure...that transition is going to stick with me for a while. The rest of the cast was troublesome, mostly because the name actors are all incredibly talented, but really didn't have all that much to do in the movie. I found it kind of amazing that three actors as diverse and talented as Ray Winstone, Cate Blanchett and John Hurt could all end up taking a back seat to the main trio and end up mumbling incoherently about crystal skulls and Communism.

Then again, who goes to an Indiana Jones film to see the supporting cast? Harrison Ford is still the gruff and awesomely heroic Dr. Jones. Instead of going the "unstoppable over-the-top superman" route of the last Die Hard, Steven Spielberg kept the character as grounded as possible by allowing Indy to actually age. Aside from the occasional superbendy-CG-Indy, Indiana Jones still came off as competent and gritty. One thing I have always loved about watching Harrison Ford fight in the films is the inevitable drag-out brawl in which Indiana Jones gets his ass handed to him and eventually gets the upper hand by really throwing his weight around. Ford still has that working for him, and thankfully the fight scenes don't come off as watching an old man get his ass kicked.

In the end I really dug the core parts of what make up an Indiana Jones flick and walked away from realizing a bit more why Indy is such an iconic character. The goofy and outlandish parts made me cringe about as much as they made me chuckle. In between these two aspects of the
film I was pretty entertained and, possibly despite myself, am hoping to see a few more adventures with Indiana Jones and Mutt Williams before the franchise runs out of steam.